I think motherhood should come with a name tag. You know those little name tags they have at the supermarket for new employees. The ones that say, “bear with me, I’m new” or something like that. There were so many times…Who am I kidding?!? There ARE so many times I’d like to show my son that name tag. Not to mention all the people gawking at my screaming child in the restaurant. Because bottom line is,
WE ARE NEW AT THIS.
We think we should know it all at the beginning because we are women. Mamas. Nurturers. But sometimes we don’t know what in the world we are doing when we hear that first newborn cry, when the baby doesn’t latch, or breastfeeding hurts a lot more than we thought it would. Even though our mamas and grandmamas and sisters and aunts say, “You’ll get it. You’ll figure it all out”, we don’t get it at first.
And you know what? That’s okay.
Ahhhh. Rest in that for a minute.
It. Is. Okay.
I took too long to figure that out. That it was okay. I let myself feel guilty about the not knowing yet. But at some point in my first year as a mama, I let myself off the hook. Because my baby boy doesn’t know that I didn’t know (and sometimes still don’t know). What he does know is that I love him. And that he loves his mommy’s hair. And “You are My Sunshine”. And books read on the “big bed”. And picnics on Wednesdays. He knows I’m trying, and that’s what I want to teach him. To try. To love. To have fun.
This relationship that God put in place for us and our children is beautiful. And it is ENOUGH. The love is enough.
So let yourself off the hook. You are a good mama, and you’ve got this.